Life to Live

I haven't been normal for years.
But I did use to be more normal than I am now.
My deepest traumas were suicidal thoughts, cuts down my arms-
-typical kid stuff.

But it's only the first half of 2012, and I've changed more mentally than I ever had any year before. And the change was overnight. I've gone through every eating disorder in the book-Anorexia? Check. Bulimia? Check. Binge eating? Night eating disorder? Check Check. Eating disorders not otherwise specified? Big ass check.
I made myself this way. I still remember the thought that made it all start.

-It really can't be that hard, can it? I might as well try-

That was the seed. The invasive species that won't go away.

Yes, I screwed myself. Fucked me up for life. But, I did stop purging on my own, and, if this all started overnight, maybe I can plant a different seed:

Embrace who you are. Eat to live, not Live to Eat. Enjoy what you eat, don't punish yourself for eating those slices of cake or few cookies.
Cause in the end, the only person you have to live with your entire life is yourself, not anyone else, so why change yourself for the world?

-Vice #1, food. 

The bright lights of america.

It's funny how fast an thought can turn into a full fledged obsession. Like a little seed planted in your brain, being fed by the media and social pressure until that little thought-seed is fertilized and turned into a vine that creeps through your mind, strangling and over taking everything, until nothing but it, is left.
How do I snap out of this? How can I stop obsessing over this? It's driving me crazy, breaking me in half, and I'm the only one who can piece myself back together.